Closed: Bye Bye Rubie Sky

Another day, another attempt at creatively spelled upscale cuisine in Tallahassee. Actually, attempt might not be quite the right word here. Attempt hints at effort, it suggests ambition, it has a whiff of nobility. The whiff at Rubie Sky? Not noble.

I'd heard good things in passing and seen the relatively professional logo in a couple of spots around town. Thinking we'd branch out from our team-dinner standards, and feeling like it'd be a good idea to completely destroy any food credibility I had with my colleagues, I recommended we do the dinner there.

Rubie Sky is way up on the north side of Tallahassee, off Thomasville Rd. The facade is promising, with a large covered patio and classy circular drive in front. Walk in and there's a vague stale smell - old beer maybe? - and a whole lot of empty tables. I think the restaurant started out as a sort of bar-centric date place for 20-somethings, and made a hasty attempt to go "family friendly". The upshot was that a decor better suited to dim and dusky lighting was lit up like a gaudy christmas tree. We were seated in a private room that inexplicably featured a large presentation screen smack-dab in the middle, and two wine cabinets, both locked, on the wall.

We had 15 or so of us there, so we ordered a round of every appetizer on the menu to pass around. The mozzarella appetizer was breaded with what tasted like shake and bake, and fried a la TGI Fridays. The crab cake was tasteless and limp. Everything, from the seared Tuna to the crab cake, was structurally similar to what it claimed to be, but lacked so much on every detail - over cooked, under spiced, sloppily displayed - that it ended up blending together in sort of lowest common denominator mess. Entrees shared the same fate. Wedge salad? Iceberg, but not wedgy in the least. I ordered a steak (Rubie Sky bills itself as a steak house), and was delivered the toughest, most gristly, most well done medium rare ribeye I've ever laid eyes on. It was served with a small ramekin of what I'm fairly certain was A-1. Generally, at these sorts of events, the conversation rambles on and everyone oohs and ahs over the dessert menu. Not so here - despite a jovial group, and I think we had fun on the whole despite the place, people were ready to flee as soon as the check was signed. If there were a celebrity death watch for Tallahassee Eateries, I'd put money on this one not making it through the year.